The Deepest “About Us” I’ve Ever Seen

Your about us is definitely about you. So, spin it sideways and ram your ego, your experiences, and philosophies into the brain of your readers, right?

Wrong.

Here’s usually what happens when businessmen and women sit down to write about us for whatever course they lead: They get overly ambitious, then their words suit up and come out sounding like a Monday.

We are the leading…

We are professionals in…

For 15 years, we’ve being …

And on and on…

Well, while there’s nothing wrong with an about us going in that fashion, they sound typically like an about us.

Lifeless and boring.

Anyone hardly ever finishes reading them – even if they’re only a few words long.

They’re sour to the ear, lack conviction, and hold no persuasive power whatsoever.

So, what should go into an about us?

First of all, let’s take a look at what Lisa Cron said about what a story is and what it’s not:

A story is not just what happened to someone.

A story is how what happens affects someone who is trying to achieve what turns out to be a difficult goal and how he/she changes as a result.

A good about us should be thought of in that manner.

It should not just be about what you do; it should be about how what you do help solve your prospect’s problems. It should be simple words that create hopes for the men and women who look up to your logo.

In essence, a good about us communicates the pains you nurse away.

I found such an ‘about us’.

A go-get-the-job-done straight-to-the-jugular tell-it-as-it-is about us. A simply worded about us, yet deep in meaning, that invisibly persuades a typical prospect into action.

And no, this about us is not lying on the pages of some website or magazine. It was not written by a copywriter or an ad man.

It was written by a man who was just writing. By John D MacDonald.

Get a copy of Macdonald’s “A deep blue Goodbye” and within the conversations, you’ll find this dramatic about us:

If X has something valuable and Y comes along and takes it away from him, and there is absolutely no way in the world X can ever get it back; then we come along and make a deal with X to get it back and keep half.

That’s it. Simple and hot. Isn’t it?

It may not be the best ‘about us’ in the world, but it sure said what it has to say clearly, precisely, and persuasively. Better than most about us floating around the web.

Now I’m going to tell you why I think this about us is hands down one of the best there is:

#1. It’s simple, precise, and communicates clearly:

How many about us have you read and still have no clue what they say? The problem is many people emphasize too much on grammar and end up getting lost. They forget to cut out the pretty-sounding adjectives and adverbs which make their words come out like a wrecked soldier – unrecognized and ununderstood.

Read the above about us again, see if it is not as clear as day. As understandable as the English alphabets:

“If X has something valuable and Y comes along and takes it away from him…”

And remember: a gazelle does not appreciate a thing if she does not understand it. So when you finish writing your about us, go back and check if you have truly said it. Else cut out all the muds. They soften the blow.

#2. It made a lot of big promises without ever saying a word of it.

As you analyze each word of the about us, didn’t you hear within your mind the words:

“we’re the best on the planet and we do things no one ever dared?”

Didn’t you hear “when there’s no way on earth or in hell for you to become straight, we create one for you in heaven?”

Didn’t you feel in your skull the words:

“Our words are sacred oaths, the world would fall first before they fall?”

And yet, there’s not a single phrase in the entire text loading those claims. They swivel just right in.

Can you work your about us to that level of invisible persuasion?

#3 it’s insanely persuasive:

Suppose you’ve just been jilted. And the frog who jilted you is a smart dude. You have no idea how on earth you’ll get to him. Maybe you don’t even want to risk getting to him. And the last thing your head can think of is involving the police – you want your family to at least, be able to bury your remains.

And then, somehow, maybe out of luck you came across this about us.

What do you think you’d do?

I bet, you’d never hesitate a contact. You’d race like a lamb who just lost his acuity to check for more.

Why?

Because the bad boy speaks to you directly and in a manner that convinces you 100% you’re in the right arena to get your problem solved.

In essence, the about us plays in like a mini-ad – full of power, conviction, professionalism, and confidence.

In conclusion

I think there’s a huge investment to be made in writing an about us. In many cases, readers judge you by reading only about you. They quickly decide whether or not you’re worthy of their penny right from about you.

Sometimes, you need to take a step backward and look at the whole thing from the eyes of a hungry prospect. Does it convey conviction simply and clearly?

If it doesn’t, know that your work has just begun.

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on google
Google+
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp

Share this Opportunity